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Title	Ultimate Book Of Jokes
ID	4676383698452480
Created	9 years ago, 1471879306574
Updated	7 years ago, 1529835009430
Code	/**Ultimate Joke Book/ /click to continue/ //If you have any jokes just post them in the tips and thanks and I can add them :)\\ // Thank you to everyone who suggested jokes :) \\ var flame = function(x,y,w,h) { strokeWeight(4); stroke(238, 255, 0); noStroke(); fill(255, random(0,255), 0); triangle(x + sin(frameCount5) * 3,y-h+sin(frameCount * 8) *5,x-w,y,x+w,y); }; var fire = function() { noStroke(); flame(33,400,80,73); flame(200,400,260,148); flame(129,401,100,160); flame(223,400,50,50); flame(315,400,91,200); }; var textY = 400; var timer = 0; var scene = "logo"; draw = function() { noStroke(); background(0, 0, 0); if(scene ==="logo") { textFont(createFont("Impact")); textSize(90); textAlign(CENTER,CENTER); fill(255); text("FIRE GLIDER",200,textY); fire(); textY-=2; timer++; if(textY < 200) { textY = 200; } if(timer > 300) { scene = "game"; } } if(scene === "game") { textAlign(CENTER, CENTER); var y = 500; var tomakeeverythingsmooth = function() { smooth(); }; tomakeeverythingsmooth(); var j = [ "", "Why is it hard to play\n cards in the wild?\n\nBecause theres too\n many cheetahsXD", "Why do you never \nplay cards with a pirate\n\ncause he's always \nstanding on the deck! ", "Why couldn't the pirate \nlearn the alphabet?\n\nBecause he was \nalways lost at C.", "what do you call \nan old snowman?\n\nwater", "What did one wall \nsay to the other wall?\n\n I’ll meet you at \nthe corner!", "What do you call a\n bear with no teeth?\n\nA gummy bear!", "What do you call a \npig that knows karate?\n\nA pork chop ", "What do you call\n a cow with no legs?\n\nGround beef!", "what do you call a cow \nwith two missing legs\n on one side?\n\nlean beef.", "what do you call\n a spastic cow?\n\nBeef jerky.", "What do you call \na hyperactive cow?\n\nRedbull! ", "What do you get \nwhen you cross \na snowman with a vampire?\n\nFrostbite!", "Why can't you give Elsa \na balloon?\n\nBecause she will \nLet It Go! XD ", "What has four wheels \nand flies?\n\nA garbage truck!", "Why did the man run \naround his bed?\n\nBecause he was trying\n to catch up on his sleep!", "Why did the math book \nlook so sad?\n\nBecause it had \nso many problems!", "why was I so sad?\n\nbecase I had to\nsolve them", "Can a kangaroo jump \nhigher than the \nEmpire State Building?\n\nOf course! \n The Empire State \nBuilding can’t jump!", " Why are teddy bears \nnever hungry?\n\nBecause they are\n always stuffed!", " Where do people go \nwhen they have\n two broken legs?\n\nNowhere!", "Never trust an atom \n\nthey make up everything", "What do you do \nwith a sick chemist?\n\nIf you can't helium \nand you can't curium, \nmight as well barium", "Why are chemists good \nat solving problems?\n\nThey have all \nthe solutions", "Sorry for all the \nbad chemistry jokes\n\nAll the good ones argon\nXD XD XD ", "What do you call a \ndeer with no eyes?\n\nNo idea! ", "what do you call a \ndeer with no eyes\n and no legs? \n\nstill no idea", "What did one eye \nsay to the other?\n\n'Between you and me, \nsomething smells.'", "Why did the girl smear\n peanut butter \non the road?\n\nTo go with \nthe traffic jam!", "Why couldn't the pony \nsing himself a lullaby?\n\nHe was a little hoarse.", "Some food items decided \nto have a race. \nThe steak was well done, \nthe lettuce was a head, \nthe water was running, \nand the tomato was \ntrying to ketchup.", "How do NASA \nprepare a party?\n\nThey Planet ", "Heard the joke \nabout the broken \npencil?\n\nits pointless", "Heard the joke about \nthe bin?\n\nits total Rubbish", "Did you hear about the \nguy who had his left\nside cut off?\n\nhe's all right now", "I didn't want a brain \ntransplant at first...\n\nbut then I changed \nmy mind", "Have you ever tried \nto eat a clock? \n\nIt's very time consuming. ", "why was the sand wet? \n\nthe sea weed", "did you hear about \nthe man who fed his cow \ndynamite? \n\nthe jury said it was \nA-BOMB-IN-A-BULL", "where do ants go on \ntheir vacation?\n\nant-arctica ", "what do ants like\n on their pizza?\n\nant-chovies. ", "whats that metal rod \non top of an ant hill?\n\nan ant-enna. ", "why did the moth eat \nthe glow-worm?\n\nhe wanted a light snack ", "what did one bee \nsay to another?\n\nmind your own buzzness! ", "why do termites \nlove computers?\n\nthey get to log on! ", "what does an ant \ntake for an upset \nstomach?\n\nant-acid ", "what did the spider \norder for lunch?\n\na burger and flies! ", " When William joined the \narmy he disliked \nthe phrase \n\n'fire at will'.", "Did you hear about the \nguy who got hit in the \nhead with a can of Coke? \n\nHe was lucky it was \na soft drink. ", " What's the longest \nword in the \ndictionary?\n\nSmile! \nBecause it has \na mile in it!", " Why did the picture \ngo to jail? \n\nBecause it was framed!", " What is the tallest \nbuilding in the \nworld?\n\nThe library! \nIt has the most stories", " What is silver and has \na head and a tail \nbut no legs?\n\na coin", "Thats all for now\n more jokes coming spoon!", "oops i meant soon XD" ]; //credit for some jokes //http://reallycorny.com/node var c = 0; mouseClicked = function() { c += 1; }; draw = function() { smooth(); textAlign(CENTER, CENTER); textSize(40); background(133, 80, 36); fill(0, 33, 115); textFont(createFont("FELIX TITLING")); text("The\nUltimate\nBook Of Jokes", 201, 178); noStroke(); fill(54, 45, 45); rect(371, 0, 10, 400, 5); noStroke(); fill(150, 94, 48); rect(-13, 0, 38, 949); fill(0, 0, 0, 15); triangle(23, 0, 0, 0, 4, 446); fill(245, 233, 204); ellipse(13, 51, 15, 15); ellipse(13, 356, 15, 15); if (c > 0) { background(255, 237, 171); } textSize(30); fill(0, 0, 0); textFont(createFont("segoe print")); text(j[c], 200, 173); if (c > j.length - 1) { background(133, 80, 36); stroke(156, 154, 154); noStroke(); fill(54, 45, 45); rect(35, 0, 10, 65, 6); rect(35, 334, 10, 65, 5); stroke(156, 154, 154); noFill(); strokeWeight(4); ellipse(40, 340, 13, 13); noFill(); strokeWeight(4); ellipse(40, 60, 13, 13); textSize(18); textFont(createFont("FELIX TITLING")); fill(89, 55, 27); textAlign(CENTER, CENTER); text("~THE ULITIMATE BOOK OF JOKES~", 214, 361); fill(0, 0, 0); text("Reviews:", 200, 100); text("'AWESOME AND FUNNY JOKE BOOK!' ", 200, 150); text("'...It's funnier than that \nJoke Book on the Top List...'", 200, 200); text(" 'This should be on the top list' ", 200, 250); } }; } };
Folds	23,32,33,40,45,158
Fork	false
Key	ag5zfmtoYW4tYWNhZGVteXIXCxIKU2NyYXRjaHBhZBiAgLjp1qSnCAw
Votes	188
Spin-Offs	8
Type	PJS
Width	400
Height	400
User Flagged	false
Origin Scratchpad	{"id":"6011628423086080","title":"ENDED!!!Khan 2016 Olympics Opening Ceremony Joke Contest!","deleted":"false","official":"false"}
Hidden From Hotlist	false
Restricted Posting	false
By Child	false
Author Nick	🔥Fιre Glιder🔥
Author Name	Gliders
Author ID	kaid_38251832321315544467225
Author Profile Access	COACH

Archive Data

Added	10 months ago, 1739366210561
Updated	10 months ago, 1739366220137
Source Deleted	unknown