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Title	The Life of A Would Be Dictator Cat
ID	4833181880680448
Created	10 years ago, 1432051816158
Updated	8 years ago, 1508466792498
Code	<!DOCTYPE html> <!--I will try to update everyday. -Mittens--> <!--Credit to Honor J. /Bast for the code! Thanks! (They don't know I'm doing this, but they won't mind, right? Right?) --> <!--Votes are appreciated but not necessary! --> <!--Credit to KevinW for creating Project: Blog--> <html> <head> <meta charset="utf-8"> <title>The Life of A Would Be Dictator Cat</title> <style> body{ background: rgb(77, 77, 77); } h3{ text-align:center; } img{ width:107px; margin:5px; margin-bottom:-22px; } #headbar{ background: rgb(255, 0, 0); border: 10px ridge rgb(0,0,0); height: 115px; margin: 0px; margin-top: -8px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 88px; } #sidebar-left{ background: rgb(141, 164, 168); float: left; width: 117px; margin:5px; padding:5px; } #sidebar-right{ background: rgb(141, 164, 168); float: right; width: 117px; margin:5px; padding:5px; } .post{ margin:139px; background: rgb(255, 255, 255); padding-left:2px; padding-right:2px; margin-top: -15px;margin-bottom: -15px; } #time{ font-weight:bold;font-style: italic; } #followers{ font-weight:bold; font-style: italic; } #footer{ background: rgb(0, 217, 255); height: 25px; margin-top: 20px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-align: center; font-size: 9px; } </style> </head> <body> <!--Header, Sidebars--> <h1 id="headbar">A blog by me </h1> <div id="sidebar-left"> <h3>All My Posts</h3> <!--5672021--> <a> Hello There. I'm a Cat</a><br><br> <a> 2nd Day of Posting!</a><br><br> <a> The War on Carpenter Bees</a><br><br> <a> A Birthday Party</a><br><br> <a> 1 vote special!</a><br><br> <a> Another Day of Posting</a><br><br> <a> New Blog (Kinda)</a><br><br> <a> Wednesdays...</a><br><br> <a> Over 80 Votes!!!!</a><br><br> <a> 120 Votes!</a><br><br> <a> The Second Stealth Mission</a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> <a> </a><br><br> </div> <div id="sidebar-right"> <h3>About Me</h3> <p><em>Name: </em>Mittens<br><em>Age: </em>Ageless! Nyah, Nyah! <br><em>Gender: </em>Female, but what does it matter to you?<br><em>Eye Color:</em> Green<br><em>Hair Color:</em> Grey with white rings on my little feet and down my stomach.<br><em>Species: </em>Cat (Stuffed. Kind of.)<br><em>Job: </em>Ruling the world!<br><em>Status:</em> Bored. That's why I made this<br><em>Hobbies:</em> Ruling the world and making up insulting comebacks to haters.<br><em>Country: </em>'Muhrica!!! Yeah!!!<br><em>State: </em>Not Telling this!<br><em>City: </em>Not telling this either!<br><br><em>Bio: </em>If I won't tell you where I live, do you think I'd tell you THIS?</p> </div> <!--Blog Posts. Newest on top--> <div class="post"> <h2 id= "fifty-third-post">2 Years? Already?</h2> <p id="time">May 23, 2017</p> <p>Ooooohhhhh boy! It's already been two years since the start of this "blog". Can it really be considered a blog though? I haven't posted in over a year. But is that really important? Maybe, but it'll be better if we say that it isn't. Anyway, if anyone besides myself reads this, I will be quite impressed. Well, that's all for now. Mittens out! </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fifty-second-post">Something Something 1 Year!</h2> <p id="time">July 14, 2016</p> <p>Woo! It has been a long time since I last posted. Oh, right, this blog is over 1 year old. Yay! Anyway, not much has really happened. No groundbreaking discoveries, no colonization of other planets, no wars against advanced alien species... Nothing. We've been thinking of building a Mittens Inc. tower, but that would attract attention to the fact that we're cats. All of us. And 99.99% of us is techinically "me". Weird. Not really, considering that I built a cloning machine <em>WAY</em> back then. Like <em>way, way</em> back then, but not, like, WAY WAY <EM>WAY</EM> back then. But enough of my rambling. I need to take over the universe. Someday. Maybe. If I'm not napping. Kinda depends. Cause if it's a water planet, then it can have all the freedom it wants. But consider it ours if it's a desert planet. The government <em>still</em> thinks we're shady just because a couple of bots got a little out of hand. Come on! They're not hard to deal with. Just shoot the in the face with a Barret 50 Cal. and they die! What's that? The average Joe doesn't have a Barret 50 Calliber Sniper Rifle? Oh. Ok. Well, Mittens out. Goodbye! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fifty-second-post">Our Apologies Form Mittens Inc.</h2> <p id="time">March Something</p> <p>Here at Mittens Inc. we've been listening to your feedback. As we always remind you, your needs are always, <em>always</em> put first. We notice that some complaints came in. Such as "Oh, youre sentry bot shot holes in our wall. When we asked it why, it replied 'for fun'. Do something" Well, we would, but then we'd have to reprogam it. So no. Anyway, we realized that changes need to be made, so we put Muff- wait, what?! <em>Muffin</em> is in charge now? Really? Ok. Well, Muffin, (Oh my faithful advisor) has become the owner of Mittens Inc. We will respond to any questions you may have. Good bye! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fifty-second-post">Sorry!</h2> <p id="time">January 31, 2016</p> <p>Sorry that I didn't post in a while. I was kinda busy hating the weather and figuring out a molecular disrupter to turn wood into bacon. Why, you ask? Because the only thing scarier than squid are vegans. Ugh... And we had to put our cloning on hold because wood doesn't grow on tre-wait. It does. Well, I guess I'll have to grow moar trees. Moar! Moar!! Moarrrrr!!!!1. Oh well. At least in MCOC I have a 3 star Doctor Strange. Nobody cares, but that's okay. What was I talking about? Muffin (Oh my faithful advisor) says I need to be doing "Productive" things. Does he not realize that napping is essential to life?! But enough of that. We're investigating whether our ancestors had traveled into the far reaches of space to escape the growing population of idio-humans. I mean humans. Totally humans. If we find anything, then we'll just attach rocket thrusters to our base and blast off. We're going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship... Also, last week was a sad, sad day for the sad, sad little Deflatriots. Or Spygatriots. But to Space! And very likely death! But we died in an awesome way! Wooooooh!!!!1!!1!1!!!one!!won!!!!wan!!! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fifty-first-post">Alright, Christmas...</h2> <p id="time">December 19, 2015</p> <p>Alright, Christmas, you've let me down for the last time. I mean REALLY. Who thought it was a good idea for Christmas to be in the 60's? And I know the whole "Dear Weather" thing is Bast's idea, but this is too much. I haven't seen a single <em>FLAKE</em> of snow. On the bright side, the Patriots lost to the Eagles 35 to 28. It was a sad, sad day for the sad, sad, little Patriots. Hawk Nation all the way! But enough of football. Where is Sieger? He hasn't bothered me about not posting in 9 days. I mean, I haven't posted in nine days. Sieger hasn't said anything in months. But back to Christmas. Why?!? This is just sad. This is unacceptable. But the new Star Wars movie came out which is cool I guess. And I 100%'ed the first act of the holiday special in Contest of Champions. Go team Mittens! Woot! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fiftieth-post">Safety Advisory For the Sentry Bot 1.0</h2> <p id="time">December 10, 2015</p> <p>Here at Mittens Inc., your safety is our number-one priority. So, we sent out Safety Advisory for our product. If our product does not suit you, send it back for a full refund. If it will not obey, shut it down and make sure you assembled it properly. If you have trouble operating the Sentry Bot 1.0, please read the instruction manual. Should the product attack you, just call the police. It's not that hard. Again, here at Mittens Inc., we believe that customer satisfaction should be kept at a 10/10, so please leave good reviews. The government thinks that we're a little shady. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-ninth-post">Introducing Mittens Inc.</h2> <p id="time">December 2, 2015</p> <p>Finally introducing Mittens Inc. ! Here at Mittens Inc. we value your safety and the wellfare of the world. As a business, we put <em>your</em> needs first! Our first product, the Sentry Bot 1.0, is built to keep what is important to you safe. If our product becomes slow or broken, send it back to our experts at Mittens Inc. and we'll have it up and running in weeks! If you have questions, please ask us about our business at 502-thisisfake-9189. If your find that the product does not satisfy you, just send it back for a full refund, because we value <em>you</em>. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-eighth-post">Football Time!</h2> <p id="time">November 22, 2015</p> <p>Time for football and concussions (If you spell it that way)! Yay for horrible injuries! But seriously, I rant on a lot of stuff like Halloween, Thanksgiving and sports. This is just plain stupid. But enough. Yay Superbowl! Wooh, so interesting! Now what was I going to say? Hmmmmmmmm....... Oh. Yeah. The Deflatriots. I really, really, hate them. I mean come on! Why? You <em>know</em> you can beat the Colts, but then you deflate the ball? Why? Cheaters. Oh well. Most people reading this won't care, and I suppose that's a good thing. I think. Whatever. Who <em>actually</em> thought the Colts could win that? Oh well. Cheaters. Just to be clear, the Colts didn't actually make it to the Superbowl. The Seahawks did. Go Seahawks! Wooh, so interesting! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-seventh-post">Thanksgiving Time!</h2> <p id="time">November 20, 2015</p> <p>It is now time to... Suff myself with food! Well, almost. Almost. Oh well. Wooh, so interesting! Other than the other stupid American holiday, I'd like to talk about how much I want to build my very own turret, like the ones in the Portal games. We made one, but it started shooting us. Which was no fun. But I will not give up trying! Or will I... But I also want to make my very own Bat suit like the one in Batman Begins. That was a fun movie. I liked it. But back to Thanksgiving. I think (Like I usually do) that it is a wasteful and boring holiday. I mean seriously! We slaughtered random animals, ate a <em>ton</em> of corn and other stuff (I think), then sat back and did nothing. And of course the schools will take time off for it. But I'm not complaining. I get free turkey. And stuffing. But I still think it is wasteful. Not to mention stupid. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-sixth-post">Our Greatest Creation Yet</h2> <p id="time">November 14, 2015</p> <p>We have created a thing of beauty... A thing the humans could never <em>Hope</em> to make... Ah, forget it, I can't be a dramatic narrator. Anyway, we (Muffin) made the Greatest Robot Yet! Wooh, so interesting! Anyway, we built it (In the singular) Today (Whenever that is.) to be able to travel faster than the speed of light. Wooh, so interesting! Its fur is pure white with Aqua-Green (If you play with Crayola Colored Pencils you know what I mean.) eyes. It is armed with a butterfly knife, an M9, and... Well, that's it. It really doesn't need anything else. Which is cool. Wooh, so interesting! You probably noticed I didn't bring up the events in France that happened last night. You'd have to look it up. I don't want to bring down the anger of, well, everyone on myself. Mittens out! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-fifth-post">Happy Halloween! If That's How You Spell It.</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, October 31, 2015</p> <p>It's Halloween! And... I don't really care. I mean, seriously! It's all about dressing up as something you'll probably never be to get things that could give you diabetes. I mean, <em>come on!</em> Surely you can't <em>possibly</em> be <em>that</em> stupid! Oh well. It's not like I'm gonna be the one to convince them that halloween is all about diabetes and disappointment. Whatever. This is just a normal October the thirty-first for me. Sigh. Now we're gonna have trick-or-treaters come to my "owner's" house. At least we came out with my MK II Supersuit. This time it has one, giant, 8 foot long katana. And grappling hooks in the shoulders. Good for, y'know, shooting into peoples faces and pulling them toward you. And of COURSE we have an M60. Why would I not have one? I mean, it's like charging into battle in an Iron-Man suit, but using a pocket-knife to fight the Ultron drones. Anyway, I'm gonna end this episode here. Bye! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-fourth-post">Why, Sprinklers? Why?</h2> <p id="time">Wednesday, October 14, 2015</p> <p>So... In my "owner's" neighborhood, there are sprinklers to water the grass. AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH RAIN!! And of course, the sprinklers only water our side, making the sidewalk wet. Every. Single. Morning. Every one of them! Come on! And I can't get to the computer 'cause my "owner" hogs it all the time. Seriously! And he only goes to school 4 days a week! 4 days! What a slacker. So yeah. Also, we're close to Mars. Is it capitalized? Is that even how you spell "capitalized"? I'm so confused. Well, at least I'm doing something. Instead of taking a nap. Which I could do. And it would be very relaxing. Wait. How did I go from talking about sprinklers to talking about naps? How does this make sense? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-third-post">I Really Don't Post Enough</h2> <p id="time">Wednesday, October 7, 2015</p> <p>Wow... 12 days since my last post? Just... Wow... I have no words for this outrage. This is unacceptable. Much anger. Very outrage. Such evil. Right, so last time we talked about going to the Mars, right? Wait, <em>The</em> Mars? What am I talking about. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-second-post">I'm Still Blogging!</h2> <p id="time">Friday, September 25, 2015</p> <p>Right, so I haven't blogged in over... What, 11 days? What am I doing with my life?!? <em>BAST</em> is blogging more often than I am! What have I done? Soo... Anyway... Yeah, I'm going on a great centepede hunt! Dun dun dun... And we're trying to churn out as many clones and robots as we can. We noticed a huge spider out side the Human's house, so we came in and had the Shocker troops come in and taze it, the Pyro troops to, well, pyro it, and then had the Heavy weapons bot blow it to kingdom come. I've gotten bored with earth, so we're going to be headed to... Mars! That's right! The red planet! To build... Nothing! Cause why not stay here on the moon, right?! Also, I can't believe the Seattle Seahawks are 0-2. So disappointing. Ugh... And Bill Belecheat and the New England Deflatriots are 2-0. Ugh. Football, why you gotta be so annoying? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="forty-first-post">Where is Everybody?</h2> <p id="time">Monday, September 14, 2015</p> <p>I haven't talked to anyone for weeks, and it's been really lonely. Are they doing school? I can see Ayaka doing school, but not Sieger. He's a strong, independent dog who don't need no master. Or Bast. She's a cat. Cats do what cats wanna do. I haven't gotten a notif from them in almost a month! Is Bast playing more Minecat? I don't know. Have the humans wiped me from their memories? That would be kinda terrible. I just don't know what to do. I could destroy the earth, but where's the fun in that? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fortieth-post">I'm Back! With With Nothing to Do.</h2> <p id="time">Sunday, September 6, 2015</p> <p>Still nothing to do. I haven't seen Sieger, Ayaka, or Bast in ages. We're building the moon colony, so we can have people live there. We're also building little moon rovers. Flies have been everywhere lately, so we have snipers around the house picking them off. Why do I care that there are flies in the old base ("owner's" house.)? Because most of my army is there, and they don't like it when there are insects in our airspace. My supersuit is finally ready, so I've gone out looking for alien life. I'm currently in space, dictating this to Muffin (O My Faithful Advisor) who is back at the moon base. Haven't found anything yet, but I think I say something fly past me about an hour ago. I'll investigate. Hopefully I don't get stranded in space with only a limited amount of oxygen. That would stink. What's that Muffin? I only have a limited amount of oxygen? What do you mean we can't fit infinite oxygen in my suit?!? <em>sigh. </em>Such incompetence. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-ninth-post">I'm still here!</h2> <p id="time">Friday, September 4, 2015</p> <p>Yeah, I haven't posted in a long time. I don't know what to say. Other than how we're building an orbital lazer to zap anyone getting a little out of control. But yeah. Now what? I don't know... I could go and fight some humans. But that's boring. Sssooo bboorriinngg...... Ugh! Nothing to do! Argh! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-eighth-post">Moon Colony!</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, August 29, 2015</p> <p>As you can see, the way I spoke last post was only temporary. I've gone back to normal now. Anyway, we're making a moon colony. We hopefully will have a city on the moon by 2016, but you can never tell with the moon. It's tricky. Also, I'm making a metal suit for myself. It will obviously look like a cat, but It will allow me to stand on my hind legs. And I'll have opposable thumbs. Thumbs! I will be able to actually hold things! So excited! Whoooo! It will be gray, with glowing green eyes. And it will have a built in wingpack. It will also allow me to survive in outer space. Spaaacceee... Also, we killed off the wasps by having a ton of heavy weapons robots shoot grenades at the nest until it blew up. It was fun. I haven't made the special suit yet. It should be ready by next Saturday, but those things aren't cheap. Neither are the stealth robots. Or the other robots. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-sixth-post">The Variatins of my Robots</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, August 27, 2015</p> <p>So, Bros, you can see my way of speaking has radically changed, dude. It's only temporary, Man, but I'll be using bro, man, and dude the entire post, bro. So, dude, you read in the title about the rad new variations of robots, right? Well, you better watch out for the shocker Robot. instead of having an M60, it has a shocker stick. It's trained to be a ninja, so by the time you see it, you've already been shocked, man! There's the heavy weapons robot, bro. It shoots rockets out of the shoulder guns, and carries 2 M60s. It's 9 feet high when it stands on its hind legs, dude. There's the rad flamethrower robot. It has flame throwers in it's shoulder guns, and it's M60 shoots incindeary rounds, or however you spell it, dude. And finally, there's the stealth robot. It has the ability to slip past radar, security cameras, and normal people by turning invisible. It also can shapeshift into anyone, bro. I could have, like, millions of decoys! Oh wait, I do they're my clones! Get it? Cause we all look alike! Hahahahahhah.... I should never try and be a comedian. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-fifth-post">Still Fighting the Wasps</h2> <p id="time">Monday, August 24, 2015</p> <p>Well, we're still battling the wasps. We made jetpacks to fight them with, but we get stung anyway. On the bright side, we almost threw a grenade into the nest. <em>ALMOST.</em> We didn't. Which disappoints me. A lot. But we have been able to ship some clones up to the moon base to beef up security. And I'm able to move up there. Almost. We're all ready moving up most of the clones and the deactivated robots. Speaking of technology, I made myself a wingpack sort of like the one falcon had in Captain America the Winter Soldier. It was a great movie. But we're still fighting the wasps. Wasps, why you no die already?!?</p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-fourth-post">War on the Wasps!</h2> <p id="time">Sunday, August 23, 2015</p> <p>So after we took care of the bees, the ants surrendered, we destroyed the Minifigures, and wiped out the spiders, we realized something. There are still wasps. And we generally hate wasps. Almost more than anything else. So we have waged war on them. They live on the top of my "owner's" house. Which is three stories high. And we generally don't like high places. But I still have the one clone that has condor wings, so this shouldn't be much of a problem. We're sending some clones with climbing gear up there to check things out and see what's going on. Eventually we're going to send of robots, but one malfunctioned which means we have to shut all the other robots down before it reprograms them. We originally planned on nuking them from orbit, but we realized that we don't have nukes. Or satelites. Or a bunker to hide in. Well, we'll just carpet bomb the place to the ground when the clones get back from the scouting mission. What's that, Muffin O my faithful advisor? We have no carpet bombs? Oh well. I liked this place. But the moon base is almost ready. Soon it shall be my base. Mwahahahahhahaha! <em>I'M BATCAT!</em> </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-third-post">Moon Base!</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, August 22, 015</p> <p>We're making our very own moon base! Isn't that exciting? We still need a flag... But it's gonna have turrets that are programmed to shoot anyone the clones in charge of security tell them to. Or, if there's a giant invasion, we can program it to shoot anything in sight. We're taking the tank up there too. The base is going to look like the top part of the Seattle Space Needle. We're gonna fill it with plants so that there will be a little more oxygen for the clones living up there. And of course, we're still making the robot soldiers. I'll hopefully be able to make it my new base soon. That would be fun. And there's less gravity. Which will make jumping way more fun. Whee! I can just imagine it now.</p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-second-post">We Have a Tank! </h2> <p id="time">Friday, August 21, 2015</p> <p>We finally built that tank I was talking about in the last post. It's built! And I added two of Sieger's Plasma guns. I'm also colonizing the Moon! And Mars. But Moon first. We'll be sending our first ship tomorrow. Every now and then we're gonna send big bottles of oxygen, but we're also putting plants everywhere to make some oxygen. But I'm so excited about the tank! I can't wait to blow something up with it! Soon we will have colonized the moon! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirty-first-post">More Space Missions!</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, August 15, 2015</p> <p>Seeing as that mission was so successful, we decided to try it again. We'll launch the rocket to space at 12 P.M. Eastern Time. Our goal? More recources! And claiming mars for our very own! Then (hopefully) they'll come straight back and tell us what they'd done. In the meantime I'll play Risk with Muffin (My Faithful Advisor). I hear it's a strategy game. This may not go so well for me. Sieger gave me Lazer weapons, so I'm installing those into the robot soldier's shoulders instead of the other guns. And I managed to modify one to look like an M60 because I like M60s. In my last post I said I had taken up glass blowing. So all I did yesterday was blow shapeless blobs of glass. That's why I didn't post. I wonder if there's a Batcat. There should be. Because I'm the hero the universe deserves... Not the one it needs. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirtieth-post">Back From Space!!!</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, August 13, 2015</p> <p>I am so excited! Our mission to space was successful, though we never say any alien life. Of any kind. But still, we got lots of stuff! And they brought moon rocks back for the clones. Yay, Moon rocks! Pretty much all they did was explore. And bring back Gold! Ssshhhiiinnnyyyy.... So that is what we did. Also, we kinda need a flag. If someone could make a flag, that'd be great. Then we could stick it on the moon. Ffflllaaagggsss.... But anyway, we have gggooolllddd.... And rrroooccckkksss.... For some reason I'm putting down tttrrriiipppllleee letters. I need to stop. So yeah. Also, we're building tanks! And robots! I forgot to mention the robot fake fur is black. And the metal is also black. And the eyes glow red. I already said that. And I have guns. I have two mini-uzis, 1 M60, 3 frag grenades, a katana because why not, and 5 throwing knives because I like throwing sharp objects. And I've taken up glass blowing. Why? Because glass is pretty. And ssshhhiiinnnyyy.... There I go again! But back to the tanks. There's gonna be a big gun on top, Miniguns on the sides of that gun, 2 rocket launchers on the sides because why not, and It's gonna be 20 feet long. For all your house wrecking needs! Huzzah!</p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-ninth-post">Journey to Space!!!</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, August 8, 2015</p> <p>I have decided that going into space is not a bad idea. Muffin (My faithful advisor) has deemed it wise to send 30 clones and ten Robot soldiers in each ship. We plan on claiming planets for ourselves. And getting metals. We happen to need those. Eventually we'll colonize the planets, but we currently do not possess the technology to do that. Yet. Soon we will rule the solar system! Mwahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Heh. Heh. Hack. Hairball. Haven't had one of those in a long, long time. Anyway, I'm off to go prepare the spaceship. The front yard would do nicely as a takeoff pad... </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-eighth-post">Jeffrey Has Been Found Out!</h2> <p id="time">Tuesday, August 4, 2015</p> <p>Jeffrey has been found out for who he truly is! He is a killer! I knew it! But seriously, we found him killing a skink. Not that I care about the skinks, but he is dangerous. He will be watched. Our robot army has been growing. "Owner" hasn't done anything new. We're still fighting the spiders. Good thing they don't work together. I was just thinking: what if we made cars so that we wouldn't have to walk everywhere? Or maybe ride something? Or we could start travelling in space. But why would we do that? Sure, we could get cool rocks, and sure we would get bragging rights, but Bast and Sieger have <em>Both</em> done it. Plus, all the action is here on Earth. Of course, I <em>could</em> send clones or robots out to collect stuff like gold, silver, iron, and diamond. Yeah, I'll do that. Go, my clones! We are going on a glorious adventure! To get recources! If that's how you spell it. And we'll probably end up being very rich! Or dead! Yeah! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-seventh-post">War Against the Spiders! Plus a New Robot Army</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, July 31, 2015</p> <p> We have begun battling the evil and icky spiders! And soon no insect or arachnid will stand in our way! Is that how you spell "arachnid"? I think it is. Still not sure about Jeffrey though. I'd better be careful when going outside... Also, we've begun work on a robot army. I have a special deactivating button strapped to my wrist. And by that I mean I put a special wristband on my front left paw. We've only managed to make about ten so far, seeing as they're kind of large and complex. They'll have guns mounted on their shoulders, and carry M60 machine guns. That kind of gun is a real gun by the way. They're giant to us. Not so giant to humans. But they'll look like cats, only with glowing red eyes. And they'll be covered with fake flesh and fur and blood. And the guns fold into their shoulders and flip out at will. They walk on their hind legs and hold the gun with their front paws, and will be about about as big as a golden retriever. If that's how you spell it. Still not sure. Their weaponry will consist of one M60, 5 frag grenades, one Desert Eagle (a real gun), the two shoulder mounted guns, and 5 Flashbang grenades (They momentarily blind and deafen people. Thankfully not my Robots). Now can you see why we only have ten? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-sixth-post">Still Nothing to Blog About...</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, July 29, 2015</p> <p>It's been a very uneventful week. I've basically done nothing. No wars, now new gadgets for me to try out, and It's 11:33 AM where I am. I could fight the spiders. I could make my own robot army. I could do a lot of things. I could get a pet hamster. I could go read Bast's blog. I could read Sieger's blog. I could get allies online. Or, I could go make a giant mech to use against any foes I meet. I think I'll just go kill spiders. Clones! To me! This day we will earn great glory by going on a hunt for spiders! Then killing them! Because spiders are icky! Yeah!!!!!!!! Charge!<br><br> Ok, so I don't know how I missed it, but my good friend Ayaka has made her own blog. You should probably check it out. Of course, anyone who still reads this blog has probably already voted it up. Anyway, this was added on about six hours after the first part of the post came out. Just thought you might like to know. By the way, does anyone know why on the left sidebar my second post is in purple, now blue? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-fifth-post">"Owner" is Back From Camp</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, July 24, 2015</p> <p>"Owner" has returned from camp. From what I heard, he drove to down to this camp, (Which had air conditioning.) got out of the car, and mostly played Pitball. If you don't know what that is, it's where you stand with some people in a pit, and there is a ball. If you touch the ball twice without it bouncing off a wall or other people's hands, you're out. If it touches you frome the knees down, you're out. If you hit the ball out of the arena, you're out. Unless it touches someone else first. <br>Anyway, he went to this camp and played Pitball. And he did Archery and Riflery. And he also made shelters and fires in the woods. And he got to go down a sixty foot Slip-and-Slide. While <em>I</em> battled these 2 inch plastic beings of pure dorciness. Speaking of that war, we won it by destroying the machine that brought them to life, and just pulled their little heads off. We later replaced the heads, but they were already dead. Also, I need to make a new country. And countries tend to have names. So I kinda need a name. Any suggestions? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-fourth-post">"Owner" is Going to Camp</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, July 17, 2015</p> <p>And now my "owner" is going to a camp. He's been very busy this summer. I've been relaxing for most of it. Except for the parts where I fought the bees. And the part where I'm still fighting the Minifigures. Anyway, I won't be blogging that week because since he's gone, I can fight the minifigures without being afraid of being seen. Also, I decided to splice Condor wing genes into one of my clones. It will fly, but the clone has trouble walking around, to the massive Condor wings. Oh well. Worth it (I think)! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-third-post">Back to Blogging!</h2> <p id="time">Tuesday, July 13, 2015</p> <p>I'm back! I don't remember all of the trip cause' I was, you know, stuck in a red bag most of the time, so I'll just get to the fun parts. We missed out on a rental van, but got a black SUV instead. We went to Canadia, saw their parliament building, and got some jade. We then went to Camano Island, Played at the beach, got some slivers, and lost an orange volleyball. Then we had a fun family cookout or whatever it is, downloaded an awesome game called "Marvel- Contest of Champions" went to bed, and hopped on a plane, flew down home, and fell asleep in the car, 'cuz, you know, it was midnight. Soon my owner is going to camp. With his sister. How can humans stand siblings? The Indominus Rex was right to eat the sibling. Ditch the dead weight! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-second-post">Today is the Big Day</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, July 4, 2015</p> <p>Before I talk about how we're going to be flying to Seattle, I'd like to share my thoughts on "Jurasic World". It was an okay movie, with good animating and awesome dinosaors. But there is totally gonna be another movie. Now on to the flying part of my blog post. First of all, I'm not going to be able to post for another week. Secondly, I'm not going to be able to wage war against the minifigures. I'll have to pull all my forces out of there and take them with me to Seattle. Thirdly: Happy Fourth of July! Woohoo! 'Muhrica! See you all next week! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twenty-first-post">Tomorrow We Fly.</h2> <p id="time">Friday, July 3, 2015</p> <p>Tomorrow is the big day! Also, we found the latest and greatest rocket technology. Well, not the greatest. It's actually just a Lego spring-loaded shooter. But it's one of the big kind, not the dinky plastic bullets. Speaking of Lego, we found out how to bring Minifugures to life. The problem is that they're extremely hostile. So we have another war on our hands. The rocket gun thankfully keeps them down, but they've used the technology to bring some of their buddies. We have the two mechs on our side, but there are too many of them. All my soldiers were shrunk down the minifigure size during the war on the bees, so that's a problem. Oh, well, it can't be helped. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twentieth-post">Dentist Appointment...</h2> <p id="time">Wednesday, July 1, 2015</p> <p>Before I get to the Dentist Appointment, did anyone else see the US Germany Semifinals game last night? It was totally awesome! I believe that we can win! I believe that we can win! I believe that we can win! But now my "owner" has to go to the dentist. And I haven't heard good things about what they do to you there. Thankfully, I think he doesn't have to do the X-ray thing. But he has to do the Fouride thing or however it's spelled. And I hear it's not very fun. At least I don't have to do it. Also, today is the U.K. Japan game. Not University of Kentucky or whatever that is (thought it would be totally awesome for the Japanese to be playing Basketball against UK) but England. I personally don't care who wins. Just saying. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="nineteenth-post">Going on a Trip to Seattle!</h2> <p id="time">Sunday, June 28, 2015</p> <p>So on Saturday or Sunday next week, I'm going to be stuck in a metal cage for hours while being hurtled at high speeds thousands of feet from the ground. In other words, I'm going on a plane. And the only worse thing than being on a boat for not throwing up is being on a plane. And let me tell you, I'm not going to enjoy those hours one little bit. Unless we're flying Southwest. I like Southwest. I flew to California on Southwest, and they gave us free snacks. But at least in Seattle they have a place called Happy Doughnuts. They sell delicious doughnuts. And later on the trip we'll be going to Canadia. What's that Muffin O My Faithful Advisor? It's spelled Canada? But Canadia is so much more INTERESTING!! Oh well. Canada it is. Canadia, how I'll miss you! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="eighteenth-post">I Was Away From Home for Three Days!</h2> <p id="time">Friday, June 26, 2015</p> <p>I was away from my soft cushy bed for three whole days! On the bright side, I got three hunks of chicken out of it. And I got to play a lot of Minecraft PE. Speaking of Minecraft PE, my "owner" and his friend Sam kept fighting over an iron hat that my "owner" never even got to put on before he was killed. But still! Three days! The earlies they went to sleep was 10:20 P.M. ! I'm glad to get back home! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="seventeenth-post">Rain, Y U No Come Again Some Other Day?</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, June 20, 2015</p> <p>It has rained three days and three nights! <em>THREE DAYS!</em> Come on... On the bright side there is... There's... There's no bright side to this! Argh! At least my cloning is going well, and my army will destroy all resistance. My "owner" is having a friend over today, so I decided (with some prodding from Sieger) to get this post out quickly. But still, it shouldn't be this rainy! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="sixteenth-post">Archery and Tennis Camp</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, June 18, 2015</p> <p>So I heard about these two camps my owner is going to. I begin a lot of my blog posts with "so" don't I? Anyway, he goes to a three day Archery camp (Tuesday through Friday) and he also goes to a tennis camp (Monday-Friday). Not surprisingly, he does tennis at his tennis camp and archery at his archery camp. Random fact: I really like the song "Once Again" by Tristam. And "Frame of Mind". And "Razor sharp". And "Till It's Over". And "Flight". I say "and" a lot don't I? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fifteenth-post">I Haven't Posted in Forever!</h2> <p id="time">Sunday, June 14, 2015</p> <p>Sooo... I've been busy, and my "owner" has been busy, so that means that it was hard for me to get to the computer. And then I'll be even busier soon, so that means that it will be harder. But this is also partly because I was kinda lazy and didn't get around to it. Sorry. But I'm back! I also never waged war on the ants. They haven't been a problem. I think it was because the queen ant heard what happened to the queen bee, and decided it was better to submit to my epic rule. Still raising my army. My "owner" has recently been going to help take care of his dad's boss' cats. They're Buff and G.T. Buff is kinda sickly, so we've been worried about him. G.T. is quite healthy, but he always has is eyes wide open. He looks like an owl. Jeffrey is still around. Still wondering if he's a sycopathic killer. Probably not. But you never know. He could be. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fourteenth-post">Still Nothing New to Say...</h2> <p id="time">Tuesday, June 2, 2015</p> <p>I am back! After four days. I have been raising an army! To fight.... The ants! They have been sneaking into my territory every night. And I shall destroy them! I plan to make this war much like the last one. But first, some music. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="thirteenth-post">Another Blog Post</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, May 28, 2015</p> <p>I haven't blogged in forever! 3 days is forever to me for some reason. No new wars. I am learning a bit about the Sith from Star Wars. Lets see... There was Darth Andeddu, Darth Revan (he was awesome!), Darth Malak, Darth Malgus, Darth Ruin, Darth Bane, later on there was Plagueis, Darth Sidious, Darth Maul, Darth Tyrannus, Darth Vader, Darth Caedus, and a whole lot of others. Did you know that Bane started the rule of two? Or that Caedus was Han Solo's son? Or that Plagueis was a Muun? Or that Revan was known as The Prodigal Knight? Or that I like the Legend of Zelda series better than the Mario series? Haha, you thought that was gonna be a Sith fact, didn't you? And there were the totally weird Night Sisters who did crazy spirit worshipping and believed in this totally crazy Spirit Realm, and that Dathomir was supposedly where the two realms (physical and spiritual) kinda met. And I can read a bit of Aurebesh. Pretty neat. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="twelfth-post">Avengers: Age of Ultron</h2> <p id="time">Monday, May 25, 2015</p> <p>So I saw this cool Marvel movie called Avengers: Age of Ultron, so I thought I'd blog about it. But I was so busy updating you guys on the war I totally forgot to blog about it. But anyway, I finally got around to blogging. Sorry nothing happened yesterday. Anyway, I'm not gonna spoil the ending to the movie, but I will say that the CGI was incredable. Ultron (and all his minions/selves) were really cool, the Hulkbuster was epic, Hawkeye actually did something, and Vision kinda just ripped of Superman. Huh. But now I totally wanna crack into the beautiful AI richness and get me a robot army that look just like Ultron. Anyway, I listned to a lot of Pandora (I mean, spending entire days with the headphones on), and I totally forgot about the blog. Anyway, I have to go. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="eleventh-post">The Second Stealth Mission</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, May 23, 2015</p> <p>So the bees did step up their security. But we brought bows! So we shot them to death. We them crept around until we found the queen be! But she was too well guarded to attack, so we threw in one of Smushy's special smoke bombs, put on our gas masks, crept in and assassinated the queen! We have won the war of the Nice-Pottery-Shed-By-the-Creepy-Cellar! All I have to do now is declare myself queen of the bees, and turn them into air mounts for my soldiers. Oh, and I have 132 votes. And I found out that I get to be a follower of Bast. Yay! Now, to destroy the power of the Ant Empire! Mwahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahaha!! And listen to the Lost Woods theme. And James Bond soundtrack. And Star Wars Music! And listen toall kinds of crazy soundtracks on Pandora, a free music app! Check it out now at the app store and listen to the music I and my clones listen to every day. Thumbs up Legend of Zelda, James bond, and Mission Impossible to hear what I hear! Exclamation mark!!! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="tenth-post">120 Votes!</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, May 22, 2015</p> <p>Woo hoo! 120 votes! Also, there seem to be lots of bloggers on Khan Academy lately... For example Ethel, Angora, and a bird named Jelly Bean. Mmm... Jelly beans... Anyway, check out Jelly Bean's blog (He's a bird). Nothing new has been going on in my life. The war on carpenter bees is still waging. We got inside the shed on a stealth mission, and tried to take out the queen bee and all the unborn larvae, but we only succeeded in killing a few bees and alerting them to our presence. We were forced to retreat quickly. Lesson learned, kids. <em>ALWAYS BRING BOWS TO A STEALTH MISSION!!!!!!</em> We're planning a second attack on Saturday. They've likely stepped up security after our TOTALLY EPIC SECURITY BREACH. But you never know... Bee's are stupid. They might not... But we're still taking bows with us. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="ninth-post">Over 80 Votes!!!!</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, May 21, 2015</p> <p>Yeah! Over 80 votes! Plus my thoughts on Temple Run 2 and a me telling everyone to go check out Ethel's blog and Angora's blog. So go check their blogs out in the Spin-Offs! And here are my thoughts on Temple Run 2. While it is an "infinite runner", (Which I usually dislike) this is one of the more original ones. You can pick different characters (Always check it out during the Super-Bowl season: they have quarter-back costumes), find resurection gems, upgrade power-ups, find artifacts, level up, and so much more! It's a free game, fun to play, and overall a great game. This just turned into an advertisement of Temple Run 2, didn't it? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="eighth-post">Wednesdays...</h2> <p id="time">Wednesday, May 20, 2015</p> <p>...AAAnnnndddd it's Wednesday, the middle of the week. How come Monday is so far from Friday, but Saturday is so close to Monday? How is that fair? Plus, there is a church supper tonight and I won't be able to blog in the afternoon since the humans will be doing school? Well, I'm just going to talk about the neighborhood cat named Jeffrey. He came here recently, after being a stray for who knows how long, but he doesn't seem all that fierce. He doesn't kill birds or squirrels like the deceased Edward did, and he kinda just waits outside our door to let him in. He isn't all that cudly though, which is a shame. Oh, and the humans found a spider the size of a golf ball. the put a little wicker basket over him and waited for the larger human to flush it down the toilet. But there is still nothing to say! The war on the bees is still not going well. I have eighteen votes, so that's good. But still, if there is nothing to say, how shall I continue the blog? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="seventh-post">New Blog (Kinda)</h2> <p id="time">Tuesday, May 19, 2015</p> <p>So... This is actually a different version of the same blog that I made on "It's A Cat's Life". But I actually plan to post different things on each of my blogs, so check them both out to see what I'm saying there! Or you could be a follower of Bast. She made the original, and I just took her code. Also huge thanks to Bast for being (I think) the first voter upper of THIS version. Bast also voted up the other one, so check it out. Anyway, I have other things to do, like <em>TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!</em> Bye for now! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="sixth-post">Another Day of Posting</h2> <p id="time"> Monday May 18, 2015</p> <p> Sigh. Another day of posting. And there is, of course, nothing to say. The war on the bees is still going badly, though he managed to advance a bit on the potting shed from the right. My "owner" has done nothing new, so there is nothing to say about him. I haven't been very busy with anything. Trying to make a portal to another dimension. Although I have one vote, I feel like nobody reads this blog. But still, 1 vote is a lot, right? I mean, it probably took Bast a while for her program to take of, right? And the bird blogger has 5 votes, and his program has been up for a while too, right? Anyway, I don't know what to do. I may change the font, though. Gonna go do that. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fifth-post">1 Vote Special!</h2> <p id="time">Sunday May 17, 2015</p> <p>Woot! One vote! This is my first program to have more than the basic 1 vote sign (Not that I have any other programs.) But still! 1 vote! Yeah!! I'm so excited! This is (one of) my dream come true! Of course, I still have a universe (not to mention many other dimensions) to take over, but that can wait. So now it's time for a party! Skittles all around! Yeah!!! </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="fourth-post">A Birthday Party</h2> <p id="time">Saturday, May 16, 2015</p> <p>I will be a little busy pretending to be a stuffed animal today, so I won't be able to post much. There is a birthday party today (I won't tell you who it's for) so I can't really get to the computer. Wwaaaa! cries like a little kitten. Anyway, I'm going to talk some more about the war on the carpenter bees. We captured the Bush-to-the-right-of-the-creepy-underground-cellar-by-the-nice-jolly-potting-shed by setting up a cloning station there. The only reason we could hold that position was because we had so many clones being churned up in there. Now I'm going to talk about birthdays. HUMANS have birthdays, but CATS have really deep and booming announcer voice The-anniversary-of-the-forging-of-the-cats-from-the-light-of-a-star-and-the-core-of-a-planet-to-make-a-being-of-immersurable-cuteness. Isn't THAT so much cooler? </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="third-post">The War on Carpenter Bees</h2> <p id="time">Friday, May 15, 2015</p> <p> You remember how I talked about waging war on the bees outside? Well I finished the draft, sent it to them, and then attacked like 5 minutes later. It's not all that noble, but they are ruining the shed, and I am mad about it. So the war is not going well, and I kinda regret starting it. But we will not give up! We will poke them with pointy metal rods until they submit to out terms of surrender! And we will then take over the potting shed! And forever outlaw the song "I See Fire"! And then I will... I will... Take over the UNIVERSE!!!!! What's that Muffin, O my faithful adviser? We are running out of troops? Then for heaven's sake, clone me MORE! And then clone me some more! Anyway, <strong>I</strong> have lots of time to blog. I'll update you on our progress in the war. If this gets voted up, please tell me so that I can give whoever was so kind special thanks. Also, I see that Bast is trying to take over the world. As if she could do it without a large army! What she doesn't realize is that humans will resist you until you overthrow their government and publicly spank them. And show their baby pictures on huge TV screens. Anyway, not to make this a third person blog about Bast, but I'm gonna talk about how she can never succeed unless she has an army to back her up. 1). No one would take her seriously. I mean, who will bow down to a cat that can't even back up her claim with an AK-47. 2). She can't enforce anything. Who's going to not do something illegal if the police are none-existant? But you're thinking, "But Mittens, there already are police. Why would she need to worry about that?" Good point my friend. What you did not realize is that the cops will probably ignore her and threaten to go on strike unless she leaves the ruling the humans. While I'm talking about humans, they're really weird. I mean, they walk on two legs, they're covered in the skin stuff, and have hair mostly on their heads and faces (Only the men do. I was told that by Muffin, O my faithful advisor). Anyway, this has been a really long post (by my standards) and I have some text to erase and replace with some of my own. Mwahahahahahaha! Ooh, no hairball! Hack Hack. Ugh. Hairball. </p></div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="second-post">2nd Day of Posting</h2> <p id="time">Thursday, May 14, 2015</p> <p>I have decided that I will wage war with the carpenter bees outside of our house. They are drilling holes in the shed that will be mine one day, and I don't like that. So, I am busy drafting up a declaration of war. I'll probably add "This day shall live in infamy" somewhere in there, but I haven't quite decided where just yet. It is cloudy outside, and I am afraid it will rain today, but that never stopped a <em>TRUE</em> world dictator. Did it? Not sure yet. Maybe. Anyway, I have been bored these few months, and I am sure you all have been. (Assuming anyone reads this. Not likely.) Also, I need to gather more troops.(As in: clone myself many times.) But then I'll have to find a huge amount of beds for them. How would I do that? Well, I'm off to go and make sure my "owner" doesn't find out about this. Bye, See you, and may the wind ever be at your back. Really gotta find out what that's from. </p> </div><!--Done--> <div class="post"> <h2 id="first-post">Hello There. I'm a Cat</h2> <p id="time">May 13, 2015</p> <p>Hi. I don't care what you'll say about this blog, and I don't care what you think of me, either. But I'm here, and there's nothing you can do about it. By the way, I plan to take over the couch you're sitting in, and the house you live in, and the city your house is in, and the country your city is in. I will do my level best to blog when I can, and update you on the various wars against the vile but kinda cute insects in my "owner's" house. Anyway, I've been putting this off for a while, but it won't be as funny as the original. Sry ppl. I like shrthnd. Sometimes. Anyway, I'll go restock the arsenal of bows and swords and whatnot. So until I write next, goodbye, good luck, and may the wind always be at your back. I think that's a reference to something, but I don't know what. Post it in the Tips and Thanks, please! And don't say this is plagiarism, because I'm putting credit in the code. Goodbye! </p> </div><!--Done--> <!--Footer--> <div id="footer"> <p>© 2015 The Life of a Would-Be Dictator Cat<br> Except where noted, all rights reserved. <a> href="#headbar">Back to Top</a></p> </div> </body> </html>
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Archive Data

Added	10 months ago, 1739370622091
Updated	10 months ago, 1739370629284
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