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Title	Ole and Lena Jokes
ID	6024726209101824
Created	11 years ago, 1396104603114
Updated	10 years ago, 1422586204713
Code	//thnx for the 56 votes // Every 10 votes I will add another joke :-) (working on finding a good one) //I hope you get these jokes ;-) // STAY AWESOME! // Baby Dino(a messenger) var Background=function(){ background(255, 250, 153); fill(0, 0, 255);strokeWeight(1);stroke(163, 194, 255); for(var Backgroundi = -375; Backgroundi < 478 ; Backgroundi = Backgroundi + 24){ line(-400, Backgroundi, 400, Backgroundi);} fill(255, 0, 0);stroke(255, 0, 0); line(15,427,13,-19); }; var Mode="P1", Score1=0,Score2=0,Score3=0,Score4=0,Score5=0,Score6=0,Score7=0,Score8=0, Score, draw= function() { if(Mode==="P1"){ Background(); textFont(createFont("Comic Sans ms",0),43); fill(0);textAlign(0,CENTER); text(" Ole and Lena\n Jokes",50,65); noFill();strokeWeight(5);stroke(0, 0, 0); rect(145,174,125,75,11); textSize(35); text("Open",167,207); textSize(31); text("Made by Baby Dino",66,326); if(mouseX>=145&&mouseX<=270&&mouseY>=174&&mouseY<=249&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P2";} } if(Mode==="P2"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #1",79,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(23); text(" Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy,\n Sven Junior, who came home one \nday and asked,' Papa, I have da \nbiggest feet in da third grade. \nIs dat becuss I'm Norvegian?'\n'No',said Sven,'It's because you're \nNINETEEN.'",32,190); noFill();strokeWeight(5);stroke(0, 0, 0); text("Next",268,352); if(mouseX>=267&&mouseX<=358&&mouseY>=326&&mouseY<=375&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P3";Score1=262;} } if(Mode==="P3"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #2",79,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(22); text("Lars: Ole, stand in fronna my car \nand tell me if da blinkers are\n vorking \nOle: Ya, No, Ya, No, Ya, No, Ya....",32,144); noFill();strokeWeight(5);stroke(0, 0, 0); rect(264,246,66,58,11); textSize(23); text("Next",272,276); if(mouseX>=264&&mouseX<=330&&mouseY>=246&&mouseY<=312&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P4";} } if(Mode==="P4"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #3",15,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(17); text("Ole wore both of his winter \njackets when he painted his house\n last July.The directions on the \ncan said 'put on two coats'.\n\n One day Ole came puffing \nhome and said'I yust saved 70\ncentz running behind the bus'\n'hmmf'said lena 'vy didnt you save \n$2.50 running behind the taxi you doof'",44,183); noFill();strokeWeight(5);stroke(0, 0, 0); textSize(20); text(" Next >",281,349); if(mouseX>=267&&mouseX<=358&&mouseY>=326&&mouseY<=375&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P5";} } if(Mode==="P5"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #4",20,40); text("_______________",17,38); textSize(12); text("Ole went to the Doctor because he was feeling a little sick. \nAfter a few tests the Doctor told Ole, 'I'm sorry to tell you that\n you have a rare disease that is incurable and you are going to die in\n 6 months. But to help you out I'm going to prescribe that you move\n in with your mother-in-law.'Ole replied, 'Criminy, dat's bad Doc, but\n vy should I move in vit my old mudder-in-law.'The Doc said, \n'Because that will be the longest 6 months of your life.'",18,145); noFill();strokeWeight(2);stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(187,246,66,58,11); textSize(21); text("Next",203,276); if(mouseX>=187&&mouseX<=253&&mouseY>=246&&mouseY<=312&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P6";} } if(Mode==="P6"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #5",21,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(20); text("Minnesota's worst air disaster \noccurred earlier today when a \nCessna 152, a small two-seater\n plane, crashed into a Norwegian \ncemetery here early this morning\n.Ole and Sven, working as search\n and rescue workers, have \nrecovered 826 bodies so far, and expect\n that number to climb as digging \ncontinues into the night.",15,196); rect(269,350,91,49,11); text("Next",273,370); if(mouseX>=269&&mouseX<=360&&mouseY>=350&&mouseY<=399&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P7";} } if(Mode==="P7"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #6",31,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(15); text("Sven and Ole were busy shingling a roof when Sven \nnoticed that Ole was throwing away about half of the \nnails.Sven asked, vy are ya trowing avay all dose nails?\nVell, dey got da heads on da wrong ends! ,replied Ole.\nOle, you sure are stupid. Dose nails are for da udder\n side of da roof!",21,139); rect(256,240,66,58,11); text("More",263,269); if(mouseX>=256&&mouseX<=322&&mouseY>=240&&mouseY<=298&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P8";} } if(Mode==="P8"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #7",16,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(20); text("Sven and Ole were building a house. \nSven was holding a board and Ole was \nsawing it. All of a sudden, the saw slipped\n and cut off one of Sven's ears. They \nboth were digging through the sawdust \nto find it, and Ole picked up an ear.Ole \nsays, 'Is this it?'Sven says, 'Naw, mine\n had a pencil behind it.'",14,168); noFill();strokeWeight(5);stroke(0, 0, 0); textSize(13); rect(333,350,50,49,11); text("Next",352,370); if(mouseX>=333&&mouseX<=383&&mouseY>=350&&mouseY<=399&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="P9";} } if(Mode==="P9"){ Background(); textSize(40);fill(0); text("Joke #9",79,40); text("_______________",17,40); textSize(15); text("Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line\n up on one side of the road for the parade, the \nNorwegians on the other side. Those crazy Swedes \nwould throw firecrackers at the Norwegians. \nOf course the Norwegians would get mad and light the\n firecrackers and throw them back.",14,131); noFill();stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(207,228,112,58,11); text('Last Joke',209,258); if(mouseX>=207&&mouseX<=319&&mouseY>=228&&mouseY<=286&&mouseIsPressed){Mode="p10";} } if(Mode==="p10"){ Score=Score1+Score2+Score3+Score4+Score5+Score6+Score7+Score8; Background(); textSize(15);fill(0); text("Ole was on his deathbed and implored his \nwife Lena, Lena, 'ven I'm gone, I vant you \nto marry Sven Svenson.''Vy Sven \nSvenson?' his wife asked. 'You've hated \nhim all of your life!''Still do', gasped Ole.\n------------------------------------\nThe Swedes and the Norwegians had a \nfootball game, starting at 10 a.m. For two \nhours they played a scoreless game.\nWhen the lunch bell rang at high noon, \nthe Norwegians walked off the field to \ngo home for lunch.Three plays later,\n the Swedes scored.",75,167); textSize(30); text("Thanks for reading this",40,350); } };
Folds
Fork	false
Key	ag5zfmtoYW4tYWNhZGVteXIXCxIKU2NyYXRjaHBhZBiAgMCMzu7ZCgw
Votes	167
Spin-Offs	1
Type	PJS
Width	400
Height	400
User Flagged	false
Origin Scratchpad	{"id":"6374034825543680","title":"Book of Jokes 2(Go check out the ALL NEW BOJ4)","deleted":"true","official":"false"}
Hidden From Hotlist	false
Restricted Posting	false
By Child	false
Author Nick	Baby Dino!
Author Name	mlunstad
Author ID	kaid_221728282492127600358037
Author Profile Access	COACH

Archive Data

Added	10 months ago, 1739452645835
Updated	10 months ago, 1739452654385
Source Deleted	unknown