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Title	My Puns and Jokes (Currently there are 30!)
ID	6562710941597696
Created	11 years ago, 1399428038144
Updated	11 years ago, 1399694738721
Code	// If this gets good reception, I'll add more. // I DID NOT copy anyone's background for this. I made this myself! / Credit to Sherlock Holmes for some of the puns and riddles, to 21colin.frost for the Creeper one, and Abby Hyde for the music ones! / var page = "start"; var lines = function(){ stroke(255, 0, 0,150); strokeWeight(1.3); line(50,0,50,400); stroke(0, 34, 255,150); line(0,50,400,50); line(0,100,400,100); line(0,150,400,150); line(0,200,400,200); line(0,250,400,250); line(0,300,400,300); line(0,350,400,350); line(0,399,400,399); }; draw = function() { if(page === "start"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(30, 0, 255); textSize(40); text(" PUNS! \n(and everything else)",30,92); textSize(30); fill(255, 0, 0); text("By Benjamin",119,186); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(6); rect(132,271,132,61,20); fill(0); textSize(40); text("BEGIN",136,315); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 100 && mouseX < 300 && mouseY > 300 && mouseY < 360){ page = "one"; } } if(page === "one"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#1",50,50); text("The man who fell \ninto the upholstery \nmachine is now \nfully recovered.",58,101); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "two"; } } if(page === "two"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#2",50,50); text("I wondered why \nthe baseball kept \ngetting bigger. \n\nThen it hit me.",80,101); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "three"; } } if(page === "three"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#3",50,50); text("A pessimist's blood \n type is always \n b-negative. ",57,149); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "four"; } } if(page === "four"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#4",50,50); text("Police were called \nto a daycare where \na three-year-old \nwas resisting a rest.",57,98); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "five"; } } if(page === "five"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#5",50,50); textSize(30); text("There was a man who \nentered a local paper's \npun contest. He sent in \nten different jokes hoping \nat least one of them would \nwin but, unfortunately, \nno pun in ten did.",52,96); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "six"; } } if(page === "six"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#6",50,50); text("What do you get if \nyou cross a bullet \nand a tree with no \nleaves? \nA cartridge in a \nbare tree! ",56,90); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "seven"; } } if(page === "seven"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#7",50,50); text(" Alarms: \nWhat an octopus is. ",51,152); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "eight"; } } if(page === "eight"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#8",50,50); text("Biking without a \nhelmet is a no \nbrainer.",54,145); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "nine"; } } if(page === "nine"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#9",50,50); text("For plumbers, a \nflush beats a full \nhouse.",53,147); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "ten"; } } if(page === "ten"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#10",50,50); text("I tried to tell a joke \nabout a rubberband \ntoday, it was a \nstretch.",54,145); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "eleven"; } } if(page === "eleven"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#11",50,50); text("When the wheel \nwas invented, it \ncaused a revolution.",53,147); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twelve"; } } if(page === "twelve"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#12",50,50); text("I went to the store \nto buy some soup, \nbut they were out \nof stock.",54,145); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "thirteen"; } } if(page === "thirteen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#13",50,50); text("Never lie to an x-ray \ntechnician, they can \nsee right through \nyou.",53,147); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "fourteen"; } } if(page === "fourteen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#14",50,50); text("A thief who stole a \ncalender got twelve \nmonths.",54,145); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "fifteen"; } } if(page === "fifteen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#15",50,50); textSize(30); text("My little brother thought \nhe was so smart. He said, \n\"Onions are the only fruit \nor vegetable that can \nmake you cry.\" So I threw \na coconut at his face...",58,92); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "sixteen"; } } if(page === "sixteen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#16",50,50); text("What did the \nCreeper say to the\ngrill?\n\nSssssssss.",59,124); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "seventeen"; } } if(page === "seventeen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#17",50,50); text("Stop lying! Don't \nsay lol when you \nreally aren't! \nInstead, say: \nltmqts!",58,92); textSize(25); text("Laughed To Myself Quietly \nThen Stopped",50,305); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "eighteen"; } } if(page === "eighteen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#18",50,50); text("Did you hear about \nthe circus fire, it \nwas in tents!",59,137); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "nineteen"; } } if(page === "nineteen"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#19",50,50); text("When the TV \nrepairman got \nmarried, the \nreception was \nexcellent!",58,99); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty"; } } if(page === "twenty"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#20",50,50); text("She got fired at the \nhot dog stand for \nputting her hair in \na bun.",59,137); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-one"; } } if(page === "twenty-one"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#21",50,50); text("Pinning pictures on \na bulletin board \nseems a bit tacky \nto me.",58,99); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-two"; } } if(page === "twenty-two"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#22",50,50); text("A pet store had a \nbird contest with no \nperches necessary.",54,137); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-three"; } } if(page === "twenty-three"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#23",50,50); text("Driving on so \nmany turn pikes \nwas taking its toll.",58,99); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-four"; } } if(page === "twenty-four"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#24",50,50); text("When she got \nmarried she got her \nnew name and a \ndress.",54,137); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-five"; } } if(page === "twenty-five"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#25",50,50); text("I think Santa has \nriverfront property \nin Brazil, all our \npresents came \nfrom Amazon this \nyear.",58,99); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-six"; } } if(page === "twenty-six"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#26",50,50); text("The ditch digger \nwas entrenched in \nhis career.",54,137); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-seven"; } } if(page === "twenty-seven"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#27",50,50); text("In the room the \ncurtains were \ndrawn, but the rest \nof the furniture was \nreal.",58,99); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-eight"; } } if(page === "twenty-eight"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#28",50,50); text("SHOTGUN \nWEDDING: \na case of wife or \ndeath.",54,137); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "twenty-nine"; } } if(page === "twenty-nine"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#29",50,50); text("What happened to \nthe guy who fell \ndown a mine shaft?\n\nHe was A flat \nMiner! ",58,99); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(264,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",278,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 300 && mouseX < 380 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "thirty"; } } if(page === "thirty"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("#30",50,50); text("What happened to \nthe general when \nthe roof fell on him? \n\nHe was A flat \nMajor! ",54,93); noFill(); stroke(0); strokeWeight(5); rect(140,326,100,52,20); fill(0); textSize(30); text("NEXT",152,362); if(mouseIsPressed && mouseX > 150 && mouseX < 250 && mouseY > 300 && mouseX < 390){ page = "more"; } } if(page === "more"){ background(240, 245, 101); lines(); fill(0); textSize(40); text("More Coming Soon!",35,191); } };
Folds
Fork	false
Key	ag5zfmtoYW4tYWNhZGVteXIXCxIKU2NyYXRjaHBhZBiAgMCzg5jUCww
Votes	295
Spin-Offs	4
Type	PJS
Width	400
Height	400
User Flagged	false
Origin Scratchpad	null
Hidden From Hotlist	false
Restricted Posting	false
By Child	false
Author Nick	вenjaмιn
Author Name	GalenMarek
Author ID	kaid_1004939687393596549494168
Author Profile Access	COACH

Archive Data

Added	6 months ago, 1739459231002
Updated	4 months ago, 1744844963292
Source Deleted	unknown